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Pooping on a Jet Plane

I was on a plane with my boyfriend in the middle of some real turbulence. The seat belt sign was on and the flight attendants weren’t letting anyone get up even to go to the bathroom. He looks at me and tells me he really really has to go. He decides to try to make a run for it. The second he leaves his seat, the flight attendant is on his ass, demanding he sit back down. He pleads with her that he really has to go to the bathroom but she is not interested in hearing it. So he sits back down and starts squeezing my hand as he tries to fight through. I look at him and tell him its ok, he should just let it go. He thought I was insane, the idea of pooping his pants on an airplane completely out of the question. He kept clenching, kept gripping my hand, as we stared intently at the fasten seat belt sign. He was sweating profusely and I tried again to convince him he should just let it go. He fought and fought, and then suddenly the tight grip on my hand loosened and his face relaxed. I yelled at him, I CANT BELIEVE YOU JUST POOPED YOUR PANTS ON THE PLANE! He had to sit there in his own poop, until the turbulence stopped. I had to sit next to him…

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Fore!…and shart.

Golf outing at country club(men only thankfully, albeit strangers)- 1pm shotgun start- we start on fifth hole. while waiting for my turn to tee off, due to pregame warmups, it was necessary to empty my bladder.In doing so gas was passed and, to my surprise a tag-a-long shart. I was then called upon to tee off.I made no practice swings and took a nice easy swing trying to avoid having my thighs and butt-cheeks rub together and expand the decorated area. Luckily there was rest station at the end of the hole where I could remove the soiled underwear and clean and contain the toxic accident. That did require going commando for the next 17 holes which was known by only one other player in the foresome. No change in clothing left a breeze for the cocktail hour and sitdown dinner.- (did not win anything that day -or most other days either)

This post was submitted by daddio-aka Big Pike.

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Epic Poop Fail

One time two summers ago I was bored at my fraternity house and decided to see if I could poop off the roof. As I squatted over the edge of the roof and started to push I realized that I didn’t pull my pants down all the way to my ankles. When the poop started to fall I noticed that it was not landing on the ground below but in my pants. I then started to pee all over myself while running to the bathroom screaming.

This post was submitted by Jason.

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MudButt Strikes At Walmart

SHART ALERT: My aunt was at Wal-Mart, and had the classic “a little more came out than what I was expecting” moment, and sure as shit, she sharted herself! And what’s better than sharting yourself? Wearing white capri-pants and sharting yourself! She then marched right into Wal-Mart with her mudbutt, and her grandchildren and proceeded to tell everyone she had sat in “brown water”. Her mortified, 10-yr old grandchild said, “Really Gramma, brown water? That’s the best you could come up with? Everyone knows you sharted.”

This post was submitted by MK.